this is what happens when its late and i'm bored and sick. i go through things on my computer, trying to decide what should be deleted and what i'd like to keep for later re-evaluation. upon doing this i stumbled upon this...thing. initially it was supposed to be the following up to the last thing i posted. i don't know if it still will be. perhaps this is just a small excerpt from the story that is this nameless girl and taylor. perhaps. yes. anyway....i wasn't gonna post it because...well reading back on it now i just kept asking myself 'wtf was i smoking' because it doesn't really sound like my writing style. then i remembered when i had written this, i had been drinking (which is probably not a smart thing for me to do because we all know what happens when jamie drinks. jamie likes buttons obviously) but i'm going to post it just because i LOL'd in a serious way on a few parts so...yeah i hope you guys like it. oh and btw, all the stuff he knows is because its stuff that she told him in emails. i didn't write that in there, but i feel you should know that. its been a year since they've seen one another or spoken but they did email once or twice. *nods*. yes. okay. tell me how much i suck? y/y?

runaway run

i grabbed the keys to the range rover, looking over my shoulder to see that no one was behind me in the hallway. its now or never man, i thought to myself as i slipped out the front door and down the sidewalk to the driveway. the fog was still lifting from the pavement, a sure sign it was either too early or too late; neither of which mattered to me at the moment. quietly opening the door to my vehicle, i slid into the drivers seat with ease and stuck the key into the ignition. this is for the best. i told myself, turning the key and pushing the shifter into reverse.

two miles down the road i finally worked up the nerve to turn the radio on and up. "golden years" by david bowie was on. which seemed fitting; it was her favorite song. i smiled, breathing a sigh of relief that i'd actually made it off the property without anyone spotting me. i was, infact, on my way to see her again.


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pulling into the first empty parking space i saw, i threw the car into park and killed the engine. this is what you wanted. i thought, taking a deep breath as i checked my hair in the rear view mirror. i sighed a sigh of relief, happy to finally be where i felt i should be. i stood from the car, stretching slightly. it'd been a long nine hour drive, straight through with only one stop for coffee. my legs hurt, my back ached, but there was a smile on my face.

once i got to the door of the apartment building i stopped, breathing in deep slow breaths to try and calm my nerves. my stomach had been in knots since fifty miles back, the anticipation rising with every passing second. i closed my eyes for a second, trying to imagine the way she'd look when she answered the door. it was almost too much. i was so close, yet felt so far away from what i'd felt that night. it'd been nearly a year since i'd seen her. since i'd heard her voice. since she let me walk from that hotel room and fly home. part of me held that against her, that she didn't stop me and beg me to stay. but i understood why she didn't, she didn't want to be held responsible for "ruining" my life. and, yea, i guess that was a great thing for her to do. to put everyone else before herself and the things she wanted. but what if she didn't want that? what if i'd hallucinated that feeling. that 'oh hell i need you this very second and then every second after for the rest of my life' feeling. i didn't want to be the only one with that feeling, because then that'd leave me in too vulnerable of a position. i'd end up doing and saying things i'd eventually regret, and end up shutting myself off from the world. again.

tensing up, i surveyed the surroundings to the building. it was a nice neighborhood. quiet. a lot smaller then i'd initially imagined it i think. there were only a few cars in the parking lot of the complex, and i couldn't for the life of me remember what she drove. with a shaky hand i opened the door, and stepped into the front hallway of the building. third floor, fifth door to the left. i repeated to myself as i walked towards the staircase. taking the steps two at a time, i stopped when i got to the third floor landing. fifth door down. i said to myself one more time as i stepped off to the left away from the stairs.

i stood in front of her door for a good five minutes, calming myself and then working myself up again. i could just imagine myself doing a little pep talk in the mirror. this is all you taylor. this is what you wanted. you basically just skipped town for this. now or never man. now or never. and with that i knocked on her door, quietly at first. as the seconds went by without an answer my knocking got louder and more desperate. she has to be home, i pleaded with myself. my heart silently calling out for her. come on come on come on, i plead in a soft voice. this would be just my luck. drive this far and her not be home. what the fuck am i supposed to do now, i thought scratching the top of my head. just as i went to turn around i heard the door knob move a little, and the familiar sound of a lock being turned. i did a mental high five as a smile spread across my face from ear to ear. by the time the door had been completely opened the excitement i had worked up was at an extreme level and all i could do was stand there and stare at her.

she looked surprised, but a good surprised. she opened her mouth to speak, but i decided that no words were needed. it had been way too long since i'd kissed those pouty lips and i wasn't letting another second go by without them making contact with mine. stepping forward, i wrapped my arms around her and pressed my lips roughly to hers. she responded quickly, wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her fingertips into my hair. oh sweet jesus, i thought as i continued to kiss her. every last inch of my body needed her at that moment. i pushed her back into her apartment, our lips still locked together, and kicked the door shut. damn i'm good. i thought when i heard it click, confirming it had infact made it completely shut.

i pushed her against the wall and began kissing her neck after that. my hands were all over her, desperate to make contact with every last centimeter of her porcelain skin.

I wrote this about two weeks ago, but just finished it tonight...er...well the last three lines tonight lol. It was originally titled 'she'll lead you up' only i'm not sure why. I just know thats what I had it titled. but its now "forever its you". its just a short. something i wrote, and liked. and kind of love. but whatevs. tell me what you think.

( forever its you )